My Roommate Threatened to Throw My Laptop off the Balcony

In the summer of 2017, my best friend and I moved into our new apartment at 2125 Franklin. He had a girlfriend at the time, so naturally, he moved in with her and left a pile of belongings on his side of the bedroom—storage, I guess. Since he was essentially living with her, I had the room all to myself.

Jacob and Dominic

That fall, two new roommates moved into the other bedroom: Jacob, who became a permanent fixture on the couch, and Dominic, who shocked us all by actually using the kitchen for its intended purpose. Dominic cooked meals, and ate them at the counter like a functioning adult. After one term, Dominic dropped out of school and moved back home. That left just Jacob and me, which honestly worked out pretty well—we each had our own bedroom, and Jacob had his usual spot on the couch.

Hello, Billy

After winter break, the universe decided we weren’t having enough fun, so it sent us Billy. Billy wasn’t a student at the University of Oregon, which meant he had endless free time to loiter around the apartment, smoke weed like it was his job, and produce trash beats that sounded like a microwave having a meltdown. A true artist.

My Apartment Was a Hotbox

Billy smoked a lot of weed—and not the good kind. It was the cheap, nasty-smelling stuff that stunk up the entire apartment. Even with my bathroom slider and bedroom doors closed, the smell would still seep in through the vents. There were days I’d nap between classes and wake up high as hell. As you can imagine, it didn’t help me focus in class. I hated the smell. It was nauseating, and my throat was constantly dry.

Strangers Every Day

Billy had random people over all the time. One day I walked in and found him and his friends playing street craps in our living room. The coffee table had been moved to the balcony, and there was a pile of cash on the floor. Some nights I’d go into the kitchen, open the fridge, and see a stranger passed out on the couch. Unfortunately, Jacob got the worst of it since he shared a bedroom with Billy.

Urine in the Closet

One night, Billy let a friend crash on the floor in their shared room. That must’ve been terrifying for Jacob. The guy was so drunk he didn’t make it to the bathroom and ended up peeing in Jacob’s closet—all over his shoes. Jacob had to clean it up himself the next morning. He reported it to management, and their brilliant solution was to make us all attend a counseling session.

Let’s Talk It Out

We each got a letter from management mandating a counseling session. My best friend showed up and had no idea what was going on. The whole thing was pointless. Jacob and I just wanted Billy evicted. This wasn’t a communication issue—Billy was clearly violating our lease. We had more than enough evidence and horror stories to warrant action.

Management did nothing. Jacob moved out after the winter term.

Welcome to Hell, Brad

After Jacob left, they brought in another tenant to fill the spot. Enter Brad. Poor guy walked into chaos. It didn’t take long before he started staying at the library until it closed at 9 p.m. every night.

Do the Dishes…

One day, Billy knocked on my door. I stepped out and found his friends in the living room. He confronted me about not doing the dishes. I told him I never used them—I ate out all the time. He said I should help around the apartment anyway. I told him everyone should clean their own mess.

Unhappy with my response, he stormed into my room, grabbed my laptop, and walked onto the balcony. My heart dropped. Was this guy seriously threatening to throw my laptop over the railing?

He said he’d drop it if I didn’t do the dishes.

“All right, I’ll do the dishes,” I pleaded.

I did all of them, then he gave me back my laptop. I was furious. I packed up, locked my door, and left. I marched straight to management and let them have it. That was the last night I slept in my own apartment for about two weeks.

Matt’s Couch

I ended up crashing at my friend Matt’s place. Shoutout to Matt and Katie—they let me sleep on their couch, took me out to dinner, and were super understanding. I’m incredibly grateful.

That period was rough. I left my apartment by choice, but it didn’t feel like I had a choice. I didn’t feel safe. It’s eye-opening how much we take for granted—a warm shower, clean clothes, your own bed. For a week, I wore the same clothes and barely slept. Most days I wandered around campus to pass the time. I even went to church a few times. All I wanted was to go home and sleep in my own bed.

Saving Brad’s Life

One night, I returned to the apartment to give Matt and Katie a break. Brad was asleep on the couch.

Me: “Hey man, you okay?”
Brad: “Yeah.”
Me: “You sure you don’t wanna crash in my room?”
Brad: “Nah, I’ll be fine.”
Me: “Alright. Knock if you need anything.”

Sure enough, around 2 a.m., Billy came home. He turned on the lights and started talking to Brad—loudly. I stayed up for Brad’s safety, so I opened my door and stood in the archway.

Billy accused Brad of snitching. His voice kept rising, and I knew I needed to make my presence felt. Thankfully, it didn’t escalate. I offered Brad my room, and he accepted. Billy tried talking to me, but I just stood there until he eventually walked off. Brad was crying in my room. I turned off the lights to make it seem like we were asleep.

To this day, Brad says I saved his life.

Billy’s Eviction

Eventually, I got the news—management had finally given Billy an eviction notice. I came home and saw him packing his car. He asked if I could help carry some things. I did, knowing it’d be the last time I saw him.

When he drove off, I felt this huge weight lift. Brad and I could finally start living like normal people again. There was a calmness in the apartment I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Brad had already planned to move, so we were only roommates for a few weeks. Once he left, I was the last man standing.

By then, it was summer again.