Bitchin’ at Bachelor ’17: A Retro Ski Mountain Bonanza
It was a cold and rainy night in Eugene, Oregon. My best friend and I drove to the nearby liquor store in search of a few key ingredients:
Dole 100% Pineapple Juice
Malibu Rum
Midori Melon Liqueur
Little did I know, I was just a few short hours away from experiencing one of the wildest parties of my life.
The Facebook invitation read:
"Join the boys of Theta Chi this Saturday as we take it back to a simpler time, in a place where the sky’s always snowin’ and the beer’s always flowin’. Come dressed to impress in your most bitchin’ neon snow attire—and we’ll make sure it’s a night to remember!"
The party was happening at our live-out on 2043 Onyx St., formerly known as Medusa’s Lair. Why was it called that, you ask? Simply put, there was a broom closet under the staircase where individuals could get stoned.
When I arrived at the live-out, the boys had just finished moving the pool table out of the living room and onto the front yard. Yes, we had a pool table in our living room—and yes, it doubled as a spare bed.
I discreetly went downstairs to Matt’s bedroom and grabbed his Bluetooth speaker. Then I carried it up to the kitchen and connected it to my phone. I set up a makeshift bar using a folding table and lined up twelve shot glasses. With a Mr. Penguin cocktail shaker and a tray of ice, I started preparing the first batch of Scooby Snacks.
People started rolling in around 10 o’clock. I was in the kitchen, playing Kokomo by the Beach Boys while pouring shots for Jonathan, Cole, Giuliana, and others. My creation—the Scooby Snack—was an instant hit! Everyone crowded around my table, trying to get their hands on the delicious drink.
The party was growing at an exponential rate. Snapchat messages were flying out to the dorms, and freshmen were showing up in droves. Suddenly, there was no more room to move inside the house. Our DJ was blasting Caroline and Broccoli—two songs that ruled SoundCloud in 2017. Girls were getting crushed in the crowd and started climbing onto furniture. It was hot and humid inside, but no one cared because Gold Digger was playing.
Suddenly, the DJ abruptly stopped the music and started yelling at everyone to leave the party. To ensure a safe exit, we moved the couch that was blocking the front door. Kids began running out of the house in a hurry—it was a mass exodus, and a parade of students started making their way back to campus. I had never seen anything like it.
Curious, I ventured near the garage to see what was going on and saw a guy having a seizure on the floor. Apparently, he had taken pills before arriving at the party. Fortunately, he survived—thanks to the calm and quick response of our VP of Health and Safety.
It was a wild, sobering night—one that reminded all of us just how quickly things can spiral and how important it is to stay aware and look out for one another.